So, yeah. When we walked out of the theater after seeing a late show of Eclipse, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Yes, the CG was still bad, and many of the performances were laughably awful, but the movie felt surprisingly competent throughout. It wasn’t the laugh-out-loud-because-it’s-amazing-how-brazenly-boring-and-insipid-this-is gigglefest I was hoping for.
I mean, it wasn’t good, certainly. But there were things to enjoy throughout. And those things were held together by an overall structure that was more watchable and, well, cinematic than New Moon was. (I still haven’t seen the first one. Was it just called “Twilight”? Or was it “The Twilight Saga: Twilight.” I would’ve voted for the latter, but I have those kinds of problems.)
A few random thoughts:
- Sprinkled throughout were little glimpses of movies I would’ve rather been watching than Eclipse. The blonde girl’s flapper vampire version of Kill Bill, for one. And Zara would’ve loved to have seen a Paul Blart-esque retelling of the story from Bella’s father’s point of view. “I’m gonna make myself a sandwich.” (As he bends over to get something out of the fridge, a cow-sized werewolf runs past the window with his dismembered daughter in its mouth.) “Oh dammit, I’m out of mayo.” Rimshot, big laughs.
- What was the deal with the waxy-looking blonde doctor vampire? Was he SUPPOSED to look just like Tom Cruise’s Lestat? If so, couldn’t we fill out the rest of the cast with ringers for other cinematic vampires? Like a Wesley Snipes wannabe, or someone who looked like a young Gary Oldman?
- I’m sincere in my admiration for Jacob. Maybe he’s just written better, maybe Taylor Lautner is a better actor. Either way, his character wasn’t exempt from the creepy stalker dialogue that plagued a lot of people in this movie. Especially eyebrow raising was “I’ll keep trying until your heart stops beating.” Uhm…so…what are you saying exactly, son?
Okay, I’ve already gone on way too long about this movie than a hetero 32-year-old male really should. So, let’s leave it at that.
Little note: I’m going to ease off on the movie review strips and focus on the main story strips, which we’re going to start posting on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Same number of story strips per week, just on different days. Just so you know.
Thanks, as always!
Joe
Not commenting on the moobie, but on the strip timing. I’m going to miss the little bubble that says “every MWF.” I always saw it at WTF at first, which made me giggle: “It looks like a swear. Heh heh.” Okay, more like laugh like Butthead.